There are days when I get sad without a reason and I just stare at the ceiling with tears streaming down my face.
On those days, I don’t talk to anyone. I just bury myself in my bed and think about how I became this mess of sadness.
I will become attached to you and I will cry myself to sleep if you don’t text me good night before you go to sleep and I will convince myself that it’s because you got tired of me.
I’m too much. I will depend on you. I need attention, much more than other people. I’ll talk to you in metaphors and make you one. I’ll write poems about you and opening up my skin at 2 A.M.
I couldn’t stand you coming home to find me on the bathroom floor shaking and crying, with blood spilling from my wrists. I couldn’t stand seeing the disappointment in your eyes.
I will pour everything I’ve left of me into you, every bit of love, until I have nothing to give. Until I become completely empty.
I’m scared that my sadness is contagious.
I will replay your sweet words in my head when I hate myself so much that I want to die. Your words will be the only thing that make me stay.
You will live in fear. You won’t be able to leave me, because you’d know if you did, I wouldn’t have anything to live for.
Before I met you, there wasn’t a single person who could’ve made me stay. You’re my reason now.
Because I will fall in love with you.